Misun
*Two years and five months later*
Today marked three years since this team came together. The whole gang decided to meet up in a restaurant to celebrate three years of life-changing moments – of successes and hardship but most of all, friendship.
Hoseok has gotten married to his girl. Their wedding had been fun, with lots of dancing. I guess it wasn’t a surprise, considering Eunji is an actual event organizer. The whole thing was absolutely amazing - from the decorations to the music, the photos and the food.
Meanwhile, Namjoon and his wife also had a child of their own, making the Bangtan family grow. Their daughter, Eunha who was now one year and a half already was absolutely beautiful. She had definitely taken after her parents, already showing how smart she was.
Jin’s son Yoseob had turned seven while Yoongi’s daughter Bong-Cha had turned six. They both went to the same school and stuck together as if they had glue. It already showed that Yoseob was very protective of Bong-Cha, much to Yoongi’s delight. The two of them were constantly together, wanting to spend more time together, even after a day at school and then wanting to spend time playing with Eunha even though she was so much younger than them.
Six months ago, Taehyung also dropped the bomb that he and Natalie had gotten back together. They were going to forget the past and give it another shot. They both felt that this time around, they could do it better. Jimin was worried at first but he just wanted his best friend to be happy. From the looks of it, Natalie does make him so happy and that’s all we could ask for.
These past three years have tested us a lot too. Although we’ve had a lot of successes, we’ve also faced a lot of challenges. We’ve dealt with all sorts of criminals and crimes. We’ve dealt with high-end robberies, involving smuggled diamonds or imported cars. We’ve dealt with crimes of passion where they would kill their partner out of jealousy or anger. We’ve dealt with lunatics of all sorts. We had even dealt with hostage situations.
During the past three years, I saw Jin hospitalised because of a car accident while transporting someone to a safe house. I saw Jimin shot in the shoulder and Taehyung held at gunpoint.
Yet, perhaps the one that still sometimes plagued my dreams was the one with the arson brothers from two years ago. I still got nightmares of being caught in that fire and losing Jungkook. Those dreams always leave me all sweaty while shivering and trying to catch my breath, unable to sleep for the next hour or two. The dreams usually focused on Jungkook and all the ways I could have lost him, filling me with dread. I never talked much about them but Jungkook always seemed to notice the next morning that something was wrong. He didn’t press much but always made sure I knew he was there.
I sighed as I looked at everyone who was smiling brightly and laughing loudly. Yoseob and Bong-Cha were on a separate table, sharing pizzas. Jin was sitting next to Hana while Namjoon sat next to Boram. Right in front of them were Hoseok and Eunji along with Yoongi and Areum. At the end of the table were Taehyung and Natalie who sat in her wheelchair and next to them were Jungkook, Jimin and myself.
‘Last time, I kept staring at my wife as she gave the other lawyer hell. I swear, I never saw her like that,’ Yoongi said, referring to his wife who had recently won a case in court.
‘He was trying to go for the insanity plea for his client when we all knew he was sane and just was trying to run away from the consequences of his actions,’ Areum replied, still looking somewhat focused as if she was still in that courtroom.
‘You must have been so proud though, right Yoongi?’ Hana asked as Yoongi showed his gummy smile and nodded.
‘The proudest, like I know Jin was super proud of your last achievement,’ Yoongi replied, referring to Hana’s story about the same case.
‘Definitely,’ Jin said, nodding. I smiled – Hana and Areum were probably the girls I was closest to for the sole reason they sometimes worked with us. Areum worked on putting away the perpetrators we caught and Hana made sure people knew the truth.
‘We really do have some amazing people in this group,’ Namjoon said with a fond smile that showed his dimples.
‘You could say that again. I was just thinking, how we went through so much together in just three years, but I wouldn’t change it for the world,’ I said.
We stayed for another hour, drinking and laughing as we recalled the fond memories we all shared together. We couldn’t help but recall the bad ones too but how much stronger they made us.
After we finished, the whole group left together as we made our way to the apartments. I smiled, seeing Jin, Yoongi and Namjoon all carrying their sleeping kids.
We all said goodnight to one another and went into our own apartments. I took off my shoes and walked to the bathroom. I took off my clothes took a quick, hot shower and then went into bed, hoping to get a good night sleep.
Jungkook
I couldn’t sleep as I kept tossing and turning in my bed. Every time I tried to sleep, images from that fire came to my mind. It happened every time we brought it up in discussion among us. I kept reliving that nightmare – being left in that fire, slowly losing my consciousness, waking up in the hospital and then finding out about Misun’s injury. I relived that particular one every time I saw the scar on her back.
That horrible night had impacted me more than I cared to admit to most people…most people except for Misun. I rolled around and stared at the ceiling until I ended up pacing around my living room. I looked at the watch on the wall which marked two in the morning and I sighed.
I shrugged, knowing Misun might complain but wouldn’t really mind. I grabbed my keys and phone and headed towards her apartment. I knocked, twice but the door opened a few seconds later. That was quick.
‘Seems like you couldn’t sleep either,’ I said as I noticed the dark circles beginning to form under her eyes. ‘Are you okay?’ I asked. She gave me a small smile and nodded.
‘Come on in. Seems like we both need a chat meant to be held inside and not in the corridor,’ she said, tilting her head to the side. I smiled as well as I let her lead me to her cosy kitchen. ‘I’ll make some coffee,’ she said as I sat down on the chair.
I watched her as she poured water into the coffee machine she had. She reached for the first mug and then put a coffee pod in the machine. She flipped the switch and hot coffee poured into the mug, instantly filling her room with the smell of coffee. She added a generous spoon of sugar, mixed it and then handed it to me.
‘Thanks,’ I said as I saw her starting to repeat the process to do a mug for herself. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug and studied her. ‘You weren’t sleeping, were you?’ I finally asked, addressing the elephant in the room.
She turned around with the mug of coffee in her hand and shrugged before sitting down next to me. ‘Not really, but seems like neither were you,’ she said and I sighed.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I love it when we all get together and reminiscence about all the successes we’ve had and even our challenges, but every time we talk about that particular case, I end up recalling all the little details and being unable to sleep,’ I admitted.
‘I know. I get nightmares too and it’s not just when we talk about it,’ she said, forcing me to look at her. ‘You know, those mornings when you ask me if everything was okay because I looked like a zombie? Most likely it was because of nightmares,’ she said.
‘I know I’ve said this before, but for me, the worst parts were the fear of being burnt alive and…’ I paused as I looked at her. She gave me a small smile, knowing what I was going to say, ‘and seeing you hurt and in a hospital bed,’ I said.
‘I know Kooks. I know that was difficult for you,’ she said as she reached for my hand.
‘I know you know how it felt for me because you know the way I feel about you,’ I said, just as I saw her gulping down her saliva. She went to retract her hand but I kept it in place, wanting to hold her hand a little longer.
‘And you know why I had to reject you too,’ she said causing me to frown as my mind goes back to two years ago.
Flashback
I took a deep breath as Misun sat on the bed. I looked at the medical equipment I had prepared beforehand.
‘Are you sure you want to do this Kooks? I can tell Boram to do it,’ Misun said but I quickly shook my head.
‘No, no I’ll do it. I can do it,’ I said as I cleared my throat. I had to do this. I owed her this much. ‘Can you take off your shirt or do you need help?’ I asked.
‘As much as my ego and pride hates this, I might need some help with moving about,’ she admitted.
‘Here, I’ll help you,’ I said as I went in front of her.
I quickly helped her to take off her shirt which although lose was still difficult for her to take off without her back responding. Last time, I overheard her telling Boram it felt as if the skin was stretching whenever she tried to move too much. I looked at her and instantly wished I didn’t as I saw how beautiful she was under that shirt of hers.
She cleared her throat and my cheeks instantly went red. I coughed as I fumbled about with her shirt until I finally put it in her hands and she giggled and shook her head.
I quickly went around her and back to her bed. I sat down and took a deep breath as I saw the bandage covering her back. My hand shook as I went to reach it to peel it off. It trembled and even my breath seemed to quicken, which seemed to alert Misun’s always highly-sensitive alertness.
‘It’s okay Kooks. You won’t hurt me,’ she said but we both knew that was most likely going to be a lie.
‘I’ll try my best not to hurt you, princess,’ I said.
I took a deep breath so I could collect myself before I started peeling off the bandage. As soon as I did, I felt as if my breath got caught in my throat. It felt as if I was back in that fire with the smoke suffocating me. I fought against myself against the tears that wanted so desperately to fall down my cheeks.
A rather large portion of her back was completely scarred. Her wound was still bright red and it had blisters in certain spots. Some of the skin looked charred and some like melted rubber. Parts of it had spots of blood and I knew she must have been in so much pain – much more than she was letting on.
I tried to maintain my composure as I grabbed the tools I was given and started cleaning the wound on her back. I saw her grip the bed sheets and I knew she was holding out her cries.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said as I tried to be quick but still careful. She let out a strained chuckle…much different to her usual ones.
‘Why do you always feel the need to apologize. I thought we already established this wasn’t your fault,’ she said.
‘It’s difficult to think that when I know the truth. I should have warned you or told you before I went to investigate on my own. If I did that, I wouldn’t have been jumped and taken to that house and you wouldn’t have had to run into an inferno to save my ass,’ I said.
‘For the record, even though it was scary, I’d still do it again for you,’ she said, forcing me to pause.
‘Misun,’ I said as I put down the equipment. She turned around, wincing as she did so.
‘Don’t act so surprised Jungkook. We both know you would do the same for me,’ she said. Her eyes shined with sincerity and I knew she believed that. I knew she believed that I would do my best to protect her as she did with me.
I kept staring at her until I could not resist anymore. I leaned closer and crashed my lips against hers. She tasted sweet, the flavour of the ice cream we had before coming here still lingering on her lips. My hands travelled to her face as I cupped her cheeks and deepened the kiss.
My heart raced against my ribcage, not wanting this moment to end. Yet, I felt her suddenly pull away as if she had been shocked. She looked at me with wide eyes as she tried to shake her head. Her eyes reflected so much panic, which only worried me more.
‘Misun? What’s wrong princess?’ I asked as I tried to go closer but she quickly removed my hands from her cheeks.
‘Jungkook we can’t…we can’t do this,’ she said as her eyes became glazed over with tears she was fighting so hard to not let fall.
‘Why not princess? I… I like you Misun, I like you a lot and you can’t deny the attraction we both feel. You can’t say you didn’t feel something in that kiss!’ I said.
‘Of course, I did but I can’t Jungkook. We can’t,’ she said as she shook her head. ‘There are so many reasons why it can’t work,’ she said but I shook my head.
‘You don’t know that. Just…just me a chance. Give me one date,’ I pleaded.
‘Jungkook no. First off, we’re on the same team, not to mention I am your team leader. It won’t ever be allowed,’ she said.
‘That’s not the real reason is it?’ I asked as I continued to press her but she scoffed.
‘It’s not the only one, but it is real Jungkook. We both worked so hard to be where we are and I’m not going to jeopardize that. Besides, I would never date you,’ she said.
‘Ouch, you don’t have to be so harsh,’ I said as I feigned an ache in my chest, even though the pain felt real. Her eyes widened and she blinked her eyes and then shook her head.
‘Yah, that’s not what I meant,’ she said, almost mumbling. ‘Jungkook you’re a great guy and anyone would be lucky to date you but I can’t do that. It’s because we’re on the same team and because I know the risks. If anything, this whole experience with the fire, showed me how easily I could lose you. It would already devastate me if I lost you but if you were to die while I let myself love you, then I would just…,’ she stopped as two single tears rolled down her eyes. ‘If let myself love you and then lose you, it would break me apart Jungkook,’ she explained.
I sighed knowing she was right. It was too risky for us to date, for so many reasons. I sighed as I nodded and she went to turn around again but wince loudly.
‘*, are you okay?’ I asked as I placed my hand on her shoulder. She turned slightly and smiled at me.
‘I’ll be fine. I have you, so I know I’ll be fine,’ she said, making me smile a bit, even though my heart ached.
Back to present
‘Come on princess. Grant me this wish, let me take you on a date. I’ve been asking you for two years,’ I said with a pout, even though I knew her response.
She giggled slightly as she rolled her eyes and then shook her head. ‘And the answer has always been no. It’s not going to change and you know why,’ she said and I frowned.
‘Yes, I know – because we work together and because our job is risky,’ I said.
‘Exactly. I gotta give it to you though, you’re persistent,’ she said and I shrugged.
‘I never beat about the bush about how I feel. You know that,' I said and she nodded.
‘I do know but Jungkook I want you to go ahead and date. You can’t keep on waiting for me,’ she said.
‘You do as you wish but you can’t tell me what to do Misun. You might not let me date you but you can’t stop me loving you,’ I said. She stared at me, her smile dropping as she stare intently at me.
I knew why it was so hard for her. *, if anyone could understand it was me. I had lost a partner to this work, albeit not one I loved like I love Misun. It had hurt so much and it had consumed me for a while. I knew what I felt when I almost lost Misun to that poisoned knife and then seeing her hurt because of the fire incident. I knew I was going crazy and I knew that if God forbid something ever happened to her, I’d lose it. I’d be broken, just like she said. I had tried to suppress my feelings but couldn’t and I didn’t want to.
‘Jungkook,’ she said softly, squeezing my hand. I smiled and shook my head.
‘It’s okay princess. You don’t have to worry about me and I won’t ever keep you from dating other people as long as they’re not scums. You just got to let me love you, even if it’s from afar,’ I said.
